


Whispers

by babyboytroye



Category: Connor Franta - Fandom, tronnor - Fandom, troye sivan - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Fluff, M/M, Moving On, One Shot, Post-Break Up, Reminiscing, Songfic, im really proud of this, its good closure for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7815760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyboytroye/pseuds/babyboytroye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You want to know what I learned?” Green eyes shined with unshed tears as they looked into the sea of blue, comforting waves and depths that haven’t been explored yet. “A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Do you know who that star is?” Troye shook his head. “That star is you.” A small, ghost of a smile took over his features. “Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you.” Connor paused, taking in a shuttering breath as his mind was taken over by the sweet memories made with the beautiful boy in the passenger seat. “And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Or the one where they break up but still know that they will always be one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whispers

**Author's Note:**

> The song is Whispers by Dave Baxter. Please listen to it when reading this because it will really get your feels going. Also the quote is from C. Joybell C.

_This one comes and this one goes_  
_So here we are, across the road_

 

 

They barely had time for one another. Both too busy with their hectic lives to spend time with each other. The distance in their locations turned to distance in their _hearts_. Phone calls started off from being countless hours long to just lasting seconds. It went from wanting to call each other to just calling each other to give a brief summary of their day so the other didn’t feel lost in what was going on. But pretty soon instead of announcing to each other exciting news over the phone they found out over social media.

 

There’s a difference between loving someone and being _in love_ with someone. It started out with the ladder, but over time their love felt different; they were different. They lived two completely different lives.

 

But they still loved each other, cared so deeply about the other. They still made each other so very happy. But the distance was killing them both. They both learned that long distance is easier as friends than as lovers.

 

 

_In whispers, in whispers_  
_You say, “let it go, let it go home”_

 

 

This was the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other and they still haven’t given each other a _kiss_. They greeted each other at the airport with a quick hug, making small talk about what was going on in the others lives. It was brutal.

 

They could feel it.

 

They could feel the separation and love that was not there anymore. The tension in the air was so thick it was _suffocating_.

 

“We’re not okay.” It was quiet, so very quiet Connor barely heard it. He could have chosen to not hear it, but this was something that had been haunting them both for so long. “Admit it.”

 

“No, we’re not.” Troye nodded his head, relieved to know he wasn’t the only one who noticed their distance. The car was quiet, the only sound that could be heard was the soft music playing from the radio. “What do we do?”

 

Do they break up and never see each other again? Become those people who pretend that all of the memories never existed. Say each others names as if it’s a bad taste in their mouths, talk about the other like they’re the worst person on the planet.

 

Neither wanted it to get that bad.

 

“I don’t want to lose you.” His voice was strained with a sob, making Connor pull the car over to give him his full attention. The sound of his voice made Connor fight back his own tears, because despite everything that was going on, their hearts were still connected so _beautifully_ that any pain could be felt. “I love you, so much.”

 

Connor grasped his hand in his, his touch firm and all too familiar. “You want to know what I learned?” Green eyes shined with unshed tears as they looked into the sea of blue, comforting waves and depths that haven’t been explored yet. “A star falls from the sky and into your hands. Do you know who that star is?” Troye shook his head. “ _That star is you_.” A small, ghost of a smile took over his features. “Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you.” Connor paused, taking in a shuttering breath as his mind was taken over by the sweet memories made with the beautiful boy in the passenger seat. “And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it’s the most painful thing you’ll ever have to do and that you’ve ever done.” Tears spilled from his eyes, running down his face with clear paint and tainting his heart of the pain and sadness he felt. By now they were both sobbing, holding onto each other so tightly almost making them forget about why this conversation was happening; _almost_. “But what’s yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands.” Troye rested his head on the hard chest he was so familiar with, the chest his head has rested on so many nights, listening to the heart he has relied on to love his own. “I will always love you.”

 

They continued to cry in the car, hearts feeling each others pain and tears becoming _one_ ; because no matter what they will always be _Troye and Connor_ and not anything else. People will still approach them and ask for the other because they were _one_.

 

 

_Take in all our time we rode_  
_Through the town where we grew old_

 

 

Los Angeles was a painful reminder of what they had. Troye barely visited it, keeping himself busy with tour and his music.

 

Connor had no escape.

 

He lived in Los Angeles. Walked the same streets they had walked once upon a time and slept in the same bed where two bodies once lied. He woke up every morning to the same kitchen, the only difference being serving breakfast for _one_ instead of _two_. He watched the same television where they would watch documentaries and he walked through the same door where he used to have someone waiting anxiously on the other side. His life became empty. He needed change.

 

So he left.

 

He made a video for his subscribers of the house one last time and he left.

 

He didn’t tell them it was because that window in his room made him remember a time where the morning sun shone on a boy. He didn’t tell them he cried himself to sleep at night in the same bed he shared with him. Didn’t tell them about how difficult it was to take down the picture of them that was hung on his fridge or how he had to put the one of them drawn in a box so he wouldn’t have to look at it.

 

  
_Our stories in pictures_  
_Oh we let them go, let them go home_

 

 

They would never move on if they still held onto memories, that’s what Troye learned. His life was so fast paced, hardly a moment to take a moment to _breathe_. But at night, after a show and he lied in the bed of some hotel that he didn’t know the name of, he was restless. He despised nights because of the lack of noise and chaos that distracted him. Nights were when he had to deal with things that he runs from.

 

His phone was full of memories. Pictures with stories that were only experienced by them and videos a painful reminder of the moments spent together. He wanted to delete them, so _badly_ , but touring was so lonely sometimes he needed to be reminded of the times he was happy; and as he scrolls through the pictures, he realizes he was happiest when he was with _him_.

 

His thumb hovers over one picture in particular. It was one that Emma had taken of the two when they weren’t looking. They had fallen asleep on a couch that was backstage of the very first venue Troye had played. Connor had flown in that same day because Troye had called him the night before, in tears, because he was so nervous. The both hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before and it was very clear in the picture. Connor was lying on his front with his arms folded under his face and Troye's body was sprawled on top of his, both in a deep slumber. The picture made Troye smile, heart aching of what he didn’t have anymore.

 

Miles and _miles_ away, Connor was looking at that same picture. Eyes taking in their relaxed faces, and how even in their sleep they looked happy. It broke him because those happy, relaxed people in that picture didn’t know that things would turn out the way they did.

 

 

_Oh, I have seen your beauty grow_  
_Where all this fade, you shine and glow_

 

 

It became less harder as time went on. Both of them pursuing in their careers and achieving things people their age haven’t yet.

 

But Connor still thought of him.

 

He had his television on as he edited his newest video so the house wasn't so quiet, to stop his mind from thinking about a time where an accented voice filled that silence. He hadn't heard his voice in so long. Hadn't listened to any of his music or watched any of his videos.

 

But then he heard _him_.

 

He heard his sweet, angelic voice fill the silence of the house. His heart bent at the sound of his voice, but it surely shattered when he looked up at the screen and saw _him;_ his new music video with Alessia Cara. As much as it hurt him to keep watching, he just couldn’t bring it in himself to turn it off; because he used to be the one that supported every idea he had and cheered him on during recording sessions and he was there when it all started out. He witnessed him when he was nervous for his first couple of shows and talked him through his insecurities of his music. He was the one that had to drag him out of the studio and make him sleep and eat, keep him healthy. He was proud of him then and seeing this confident boy on his screen singing in a video that sent out a strong message to millions across the world, _he was still proud of him._

 

He hoped that he had someone else to do that for him.

  
Troye still thought of him. Miles and _miles_ away, Troye was in a supermarket with his boyfriend Jacob and his band, buying snacks for the hotel room and getting other necessities. He was walking through the magazine aisle when he saw _him_. He was on the cover of the September issue of _Entrepreneur_ , and he looked _happy_. Troye grabbed the magazine in the same hands that used to hold the man modeling on it. It reminded him of his smile and how that smile used to be directed towards him. He used to make him smile those genuine smiles with the crinkles by his eyes and perfect teeth on display. He used to be the one to listen to him talk about his latest ideas and dreams of becoming an entrepreneur. Now there he was, living his dreams and doing what he loved.

 

The sight of it surprisingly didn’t make him _sad_ , but _happy_.

 

  
_Our love will be legend_  
_If we let it go, let it go home_

 

  
Months go by and despite the both of them having moved on, they still knew that what they had was _beautiful_. To this day people go up to them to ask them about how the other is doing, because whether they’re romantically involved or not, they were _one_. They were the same person, their heartbeats sang the same song.

 

“Thank you for meeting me here.” His voice was as sweet as Connor remembered it, face with the same soft, boyish features. He still wore his oversized sweatshirts, and Connor's heart jumped when he realized the brown jacket he was wearing once belonged to him. They were _one_.

 

“It’s nice to see you again.” A comfortable silence spread among them. It was comforting to know despite all of the time spent apart they could still have moments of silence without it feeling awkward. It was just the way they worked. Two hearts that beat as one and two minds that thought alike. Despite all of the time apart they could still spark up a conversation that they could get lost in. They talked about new music and documentaries they watches and what was going on in their lives at the moment.  
In the middle of their conversation, Troye gave Connor a look he had given him so many times before; a look Connor knew too well. “I miss you.” It was soft and sincere, a mere whisper, sadness hidden behind the tone of his voice.

 

“Remember what I told you about the star?” Troye nodded, because of course he had remembered it, every now and then when he’s feeling down about himself he thinks about those words spoken. “There’s more to it than what I told you.” He waited for him to speak, eyes soaking in the boy he hadn't seen in almost a _year._ "A star falls from the sky and into your hands.” Troye smiled at the familiarity of the story, they've come so far since that day. “Then it seeps through your veins and swims inside your blood and becomes every part of you. And then you have to put it back into the sky. And it's the most painful thing you'll ever have to do and that you've ever done. But what's yours is yours. Whether it’s up in the sky or here in your hands.” Connor let himself get lost in those seas of blue, the color was comforting to his own fields of green. He reached across the little café table to firmly hold the hands he knew better than his own. “And one day, it'll fall from the sky and hit you in the head real hard and that time, you won't have to put it back in the sky again.”

 

They shared a smile, one that nobody else would understand. The smile held promises, words unspoken that didn’t have to be said out loud because that smile said everything. That smile said more than words could say.

 

They were _one_.


End file.
